ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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