So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
