who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize