Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
