I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
