I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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