it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
