maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
