A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
