one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think people are normalizing furries
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
