he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
