her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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