Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
