I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
