I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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