Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You can't just leave with hair like that
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
