Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just had sex bonerless
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
