good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
