I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the condom got lost in my hair
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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