Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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