so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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