Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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