Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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