I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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