The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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