This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
