i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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