I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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