I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize