I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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