So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
