Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
