We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
