dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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