Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
