Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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