I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We need to get me chipped asap
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
