standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His hands were made for my vagina.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
