And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
