So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
