Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
