She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize