it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
