Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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