Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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