my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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