let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
