white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
