now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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