I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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