To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Found your dick twin last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
