so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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