so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
