I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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