Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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