there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
