We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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