I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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