I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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